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Tax Humor: The IRS Motto

  • Written by Robert E. McKenzie

mug robert mckenzie

IRS MOTTO: "We're not happy until you're not happy!"

“Ignore them and they’ll go away” is great advice for some of life’s annoyances. Unfortunately, it doesn’t apply to taxes. Martha C. White, Time.com  April 17, 2012.

A white business envelope with your name in the cellophane window and the return address of the IRS: Attention from the Internal Revenue Service can mean only one thing; they want your money. Jessica Steinberg, The Times of Israel, 5-6-12

Over the years and out of literally thousands of tax protestors who have been criminally prosecuted, a very small handful have won acquittals in their criminal trials, by convincing the jury that they were too stupid to understand that they had to pay taxes. Financial & Tax Fraud Education Associates, Inc

Cutting its (IRS) budget is like killing the goose that lays golden eggs -- or at least putting her in a smaller pen and feeding her less.  By Selena Maranjian, The Motley Fool 2-1-12

Here's a funny story relayed by Internal Revenue Service call center agents: Taxpayers sometimes call in to complain they have mistakenly received letters intended for someone named "Levy." Gadi Dechter, Government Executive, May 16, 2011

“The tax code, once you get to know it, embodies all the essence of [human] life: greed, politics, power, goodness, charity”  David Wallace  via NY Times Courtesy of Jessica Tovrov

"Thirty years of looking at forms, crosschecking forms, filling out the same memos on the same forms," is how David Foster Wallace describes the work of his IRS examiners in his posthumously published book, The Pale King.

Loud dramatic music like you’d hear on TV or at the movies — “DUN-DUN-DUN” — echoes in my head as I pull a letter from our mailbox; it’s from the Internal Revenue Service. I don’t know about you but when Uncle Sam’s money collectors drop a line in the middle of summer instead of around tax time I open the thing right up.  I mean, I don’t mind paying taxes. The USA is a big ol’ country and my hard-earned money helps with such groovy things as superhighways, thermonuclear devices to protect us from rogue nations and anti-revolution insurance. But I know I paid my taxes that year. Uncle Sam’s records said I’d only paid a few hundred dollars but my records showed that I’d paid a few thousand. Somewhere along the way, someone, and it wasn’t me, left off a digit. Grant McGee 8-13-10

          Q: How many IRS agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

          A: Only one, but the light bulb really  gets screwed.

From Garrison Keillor’s Pretty Good Joke Book   Sent to me by R. Scott Shifley.

 

Robert E. McKenzie is an attorney at Arnstein & Lehr LLP.

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